I miss who I was
I’m not who I am
I left her behind
Buried in sand
I gave up my dreams
I kissed them goodbye
For the wrong sort of love
From the mistakes gone by
She feels lost in the ether
Lost from my face
I struggle to reach her
To pull her into my space
I don’t know how to find her
If she can even come back
And my spirit and future
Has gone a bit black
I can go on without her
I can be something else
But my heart will be empty
Knowing I’m only part of my self
So I take off on this journey
A journey to me
It begins at the ocean
In the sand to set me free…
~ August 07, 2011 ~
I’ve been writing a lot lately about my regrets of how much of myself I lost and threw away during my years in a domestic violence marriage. Alcohol played a large role in the problems. But it was not at fault for the rage and hate I felt directed my way and never understood.
Julia Ann Ferguson
Tags: alcoholism, domestic violence, drug addiction, finding myself, goals and dreams, healing, losing oneself, Ocean, physical abuse, rebuilding my heart, regrets, Sand, verbal abuse
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