Love Immigrants - Be with the one you love

I am not ashamed to admit that for many years I lived in an abusive relationship.
For a variety of reasons I stayed - until one day I had had enough.

I was lucky, I found love again, this time a healthy and supportive relationship
that took me to a foreign country and culture.

During my time abroad I met countless women and a few men who
found themselves in a terrible situation. They spent most of their
finances to move abroad to be with someone they loved only to have
the situation turn out violent and abusive. They were stuck in a
foreign country, didn't know the local language and were terrified.

What do they do? How do they get home? Who will help them?

Some of their stories are very frightening. Some we may never hear.

Be Mature - Prepare Before You Go -
Don't think you are excluded

Create a back up plan before you move abroad.

Maintain a personal bank account to provide you financial independence

Learn basic terms for help and assistance in the foreign country before you arrive
(police, women's shelters, local embassy information)

Seek out help if the relationship becomes dangerous or unsafe

Create a support system in your new country so you have contacts to help you

Verbal and Physical Abuse are not acceptable regardless of the country or culture!

I was not lucky. It took me three months of torture to be able to find, within my local
environment, a woman who I hoped would be understanding and inform her that I
needed HELP and pray she could tell me the name, at least, of any women's groups locally
that could provide counseling, legal advice or protection.

I had to be very discrete but she was kind and gave me a pamphlet without batting an eye.
I was lucky in that sense. Under duress it is hard to translate in a foreign language what you
need and the dictionary doesn't always have the word for women's shelter.

In the end it was the Women's Shelter that set me up immediately with the necessary
emotional support, an escape plan and shelter and the legal power to assist me regardless
of being a foreigner.

It took another three months to safely escape the situation but without the women's shelter
of that area, there is no doubt, I would not have survived.

I still wish I had had that one name and number tucked in my jeans pocket from the
beginning...as you say...as a mature preparation. I can also say that I was bewildered by
the number of women who arrived in the women's shelter with similar plights.
Big love by internet or phone, a holiday romance ...a lot of faith and the
life savings consumed by the move!

Canadian survivor of a love immigration to a country in Europe