Luc Jonker and Julia at his Family Farewell Party

Developing a supportive circle of friends is ESSENTIAL in the success of any relationship while living abroad.

I created a few groups in the Netherlands; Expats with Dutch partners and the International Mixer Utrecht were two of the most successful.

In addition, I joined groups for expats and trailing spouses, country specific groups and non profit groups all in an effort to increase my chances of connecting with kindred spirit friends.

And I did. I made some amazing friendships that continue today even though some of us are in different time zones, countries and even mental places. In other words, the situation and location that may have brought us together no longer exists but the work and time spent on developing these friendships created bonds that will last a lifetime.

One such friendship felt like a sistership to me. A younger American who also fell in love with a Dutchie came into my life and along the way we assisted each other with our weddings, supported each other with the crazy expectations of our new extended families (well they often felt crazy to us), attended “hen parties” and baby showers and eventually witnessed the relocation and repatriation of both our families.

The amazing thing is that back in the US we found ourselves living in two different states and while the distance was not realistic for convenient short visits, we still have managed to remain close. Heck we even worked on a Presidential campaign together and supported each other when our choice was not put in office.

This has required additional effort on our part. And for myself, I know I don’t see her or her family (which has continued to grow with additional precious little Jonkers) near as much as I would like to.

I just know however, that the bond is always there. I will always think of Clarity as a younger sister to me, I will want to see her and her Dutchie succeed in life and we will continue to support each other as needed.

You may find the love of your life in another country and gain the friends of a lifetime along the way!

Is there someone you would like to contact whom you haven’t spoken to in awhile? Don’t delay, email or ring them today. Then share with me here how it felt.

By the way, my little sister continues to do amazing work in the political arena and I am so PROUD of her. Today she assists campaigns with software support. Check out her company and pictures of her with Howard Dean, Dennis Kucinich and other political leaders. www.wanderingstar.com

Hugs and health,

Julia

What an amazing journey to be had by falling in love with someone from another culture and country!

As if a new relationship isn’t challenging enough, when you factor in different languages, new customs, who moves where and many other unknowns – the additional strains can take their toll on any relationship.

In April, 1998, I relocated, immigrated actually to the Netherlands to take on such an adventure. 4 years later, I had coached 100’s of individuals on how to make such a relationship work and when to throw in the towel. (throw in the towel = give up).

I also had taught myself a new language, Dutch, developed a huge network of international friends and contacts, been published in multiple National newspapers and benelux magazines, been interviewed on the radio in England, and written for a variety of Expatriate websites and magazines.

Let’s just say my learning curve benefitted others and I was pleased to see my experience giving others hope and clarity.

In April 2002 I returned to the US with dual citizenship, my Dutch husband and a lot of health problems. The last few years I have been grateful on most days to have the US healthcare system available to me and also grateful that whilst living abroad I learned to fend for myself and become proactive in exploring alternative methods to healthcare.

Today I miss my friends and family spread out across the globe and absolutely love receiving continued updates from prior clients and their recent successes.

I hope this Survival Guide blog will provide an additional outlet for me to inspire, assist, encourage and educate individuals who want to explore their own journey of multicultural long distance love and/or love abroad.

Hugs and health,

Julia

APOSTILLE – french term meaning certification

Aaaghhh the dreaded apostille.   All Love Immigrants (LI’s) need to learn, grasp and be on top of this word! I can not emphasis this enough. Many a love immigrant has ignored my plea only to be told at a crucial time (applying for marriage license, citizenship, residency) that their birth certificate or other required legal document was not acceptable because it did not have an “apostille”.

I know first hand how rude and shocking it is to have someone hold up your birth certificate and say, “this is not legal”. “Yes it is I demand”, no no it is not, you have no apostille. What the (&(*&)#$& is an Apostille???!!? And I thought I had asked all the appropriate questions BEFORE I arrived in the Netherlands. Don’t assume, ask more than one person in a position of power your question, (It’s amazing how the answers change from person to person) and always get any legal document with an officials signature on it apostilled!

Some LI’s have tried to argue with me that they know best or what is legal and what isn’t. Some have tried to tell me that having a document notarized is enough. Well great, its your time, money, patience, stress level, health and well being. You can either wing it or accept that there are laws that everyone must comply with, you included.

Follow the information below and you will at least be prepared! Please note this is US specific. However you can check to see if your country was one of the signatory countries that participated in the 1981 Convention. If so, simply contact the legal department responsible for official documents and they will be able to provide you with the information you need to set you in the right direction.
THE APOSTILLE:

AUTHENTICATION OF OFFICIAL U.S. DOCUMENT FOR USE IN FOREIGN JURISDICTIONS:

Foreign countries often require “official” documents to be “authenticated”
before such documents will be accepted in the foreign jurisdiction. An
“authentication” is a governmental act by which a designated public official
certifies to the genuineness of the signature and seal and the position of the
official who has executed, issued, or certified a copy of a document.

In 1981, the Convention Abolishing the Requirement of Legalization for Foreign Public Documents entered into force in the United States. Under the
Convention, signatory countries (including the United States) agreed to
mutually recognize each other’s “public documents” so long as such documents
are authenticated by an apostille, a form of internationally recognized
notarization. The apostille ensures that public documents issued in one
signatory country will be recognized as valid in another signatory country.

The apostille, which is a French term for “certification”, is issued by a
designated government official of the country (or sub-national government
unit) that issued the document to be authenticated. The sole function of the
apostille is to certify the authenticity of the signature on the document in
question; the capacity in which the person signing the document acted; and the
identity of any stamp or seal affixed to the document. The apostille either
must be attached as an annex to the official document or placed on the
document itself by means of a stamp. The form of the apostille is prescribed
in the Convention and is mandatory. (A copy of the form is reproduced on the
reverse.)

For the purposes of the Convention, “public documents” that may be
authenticated by an apostille include documents issued by judicial
authorities, including those emanating from public prosecutors, court clerks,
and process servers; administrative documents; and official certificates
affixed to documents signed by persons in their private capacity, such as
official certificates recording the registration of a document, notarial
authentications of signatures, etc. Documents executed by diplomatic or
consular agents, or administrative documents relating to commercial or customs
operations, may not be authenticated by an apostille.

Authorities in the United States that are competent to issue apostilles
include the Authentication Office of the U.S. Department of State; clerks of
U.S. federal courts; and secretaries of state for most U.S. states (for
Alaska, Hawaii, and Utah, the office of the Lieutenant Governor). Diplomatic
and consular officials at U.S. embassies, consulates, or missions may issue
apostilles in certain circumstances when requested by a foreign governmental
authority.

MODEL APOSTILLE

APOSTILLE

(Convention de La Haye du 5 octobre 1961)

1. Country : _____________________________________________
This public document
2. has been signed by _____________________________________
3. acting in the capacity of _________________________________
4. bears the seal/stamp of __________________________________
Certified
5. at ___________________________
6. the __________________
7. by ____________________________________________________
8. No. ___________________________________________________
9. Seal/Stamp:
10.Signature:_____________________________________________________________

For additional information, contact the Authentication Office of the U.S. Department of State (202/647-5002), the clerk of the nearest U.S. federal court, or the office of the secretary of state in your state capital.