Luc Jonker and Julia at his Family Farewell Party

Developing a supportive circle of friends is ESSENTIAL in the success of any relationship while living abroad.

I created a few groups in the Netherlands; Expats with Dutch partners and the International Mixer Utrecht were two of the most successful.

In addition, I joined groups for expats and trailing spouses, country specific groups and non profit groups all in an effort to increase my chances of connecting with kindred spirit friends.

And I did. I made some amazing friendships that continue today even though some of us are in different time zones, countries and even mental places. In other words, the situation and location that may have brought us together no longer exists but the work and time spent on developing these friendships created bonds that will last a lifetime.

One such friendship felt like a sistership to me. A younger American who also fell in love with a Dutchie came into my life and along the way we assisted each other with our weddings, supported each other with the crazy expectations of our new extended families (well they often felt crazy to us), attended “hen parties” and baby showers and eventually witnessed the relocation and repatriation of both our families.

The amazing thing is that back in the US we found ourselves living in two different states and while the distance was not realistic for convenient short visits, we still have managed to remain close. Heck we even worked on a Presidential campaign together and supported each other when our choice was not put in office.

This has required additional effort on our part. And for myself, I know I don’t see her or her family (which has continued to grow with additional precious little Jonkers) near as much as I would like to.

I just know however, that the bond is always there. I will always think of Clarity as a younger sister to me, I will want to see her and her Dutchie succeed in life and we will continue to support each other as needed.

You may find the love of your life in another country and gain the friends of a lifetime along the way!

Is there someone you would like to contact whom you haven’t spoken to in awhile? Don’t delay, email or ring them today. Then share with me here how it felt.

By the way, my little sister continues to do amazing work in the political arena and I am so PROUD of her. Today she assists campaigns with software support. Check out her company and pictures of her with Howard Dean, Dennis Kucinich and other political leaders. www.wanderingstar.com

Hugs and health,

Julia

What an amazing journey to be had by falling in love with someone from another culture and country!

As if a new relationship isn’t challenging enough, when you factor in different languages, new customs, who moves where and many other unknowns – the additional strains can take their toll on any relationship.

In April, 1998, I relocated, immigrated actually to the Netherlands to take on such an adventure. 4 years later, I had coached 100’s of individuals on how to make such a relationship work and when to throw in the towel. (throw in the towel = give up).

I also had taught myself a new language, Dutch, developed a huge network of international friends and contacts, been published in multiple National newspapers and benelux magazines, been interviewed on the radio in England, and written for a variety of Expatriate websites and magazines.

Let’s just say my learning curve benefitted others and I was pleased to see my experience giving others hope and clarity.

In April 2002 I returned to the US with dual citizenship, my Dutch husband and a lot of health problems. The last few years I have been grateful on most days to have the US healthcare system available to me and also grateful that whilst living abroad I learned to fend for myself and become proactive in exploring alternative methods to healthcare.

Today I miss my friends and family spread out across the globe and absolutely love receiving continued updates from prior clients and their recent successes.

I hope this Survival Guide blog will provide an additional outlet for me to inspire, assist, encourage and educate individuals who want to explore their own journey of multicultural long distance love and/or love abroad.

Hugs and health,

Julia

Are you one of the few expats who didn’t take an extended summer holiday or return to the “homeland” for the summer with the kids in tow??

The summer months can be brutal for expats that choose to stay abroad or only take a short holiday/vacation.

Loneliness, envy, depression, guilt or feeling suddenly homesick are common complaints during the dog days of summer.

What can you do differently to turn your situation around? What adventures can your create for yourself or your family locally?

When I lived in Holland I was amazed at how few of the Dutch I knew (and I knew a lot since I married into a huge Catholic family!) visited places that were considered touristy. Yet whenever I dragged them along with me to these places they were always amazed at how fun or unique they were.

So perhaps its time for you to explore the local countryside, the off the beaten track national museums. A long weekend away at a bed and breakfast in the country you are residing and see it again through the eyes of a vacationer vs. the struggles of an expat!

Maybe now is a good time to get started on those photo albums whether scrapbooking or online. This can be a fun way to relive happy memories of past trips and get the family working on contributing to life long memories for the future.

Seek out a few expats that are around for the summer months and plan some activities together. Sharing costs with others can increase your outings and get you out of the house and doing things.

Remember, expand your contacts. We often make friends or meet individuals we wouldn’t seek out in our native land. However, using this time to make friends with new people can open doors to friendships and interests that you would have never allowed yourself to explore before.

Summer will be what you make it! Get creative, stop using the word “but” and just get out there and enjoy your summer!

Summer coaching is a great way to set goals and get active on lifestyle changes. If you want to meet the challenge of working with a coach and reinvigorating your life, contact me and we will get started asap to setting your dreams in motion!